Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
