Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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