what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
