I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
