I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
