Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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