my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
