new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
