so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
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my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
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She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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