everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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