yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize