No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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