? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
