No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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