the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
