So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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