btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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