My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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