No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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