I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
