so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
