i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What a dumb baby whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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