new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
