Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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