Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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