You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
