I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
