Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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