Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize