i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
