this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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