did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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