"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
