butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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