You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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