I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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