So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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