..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
