i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize