She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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