You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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