goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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