she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
pop tarts are not kleenex
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
