I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
