was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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