i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
