dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
