dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think I sprained my soul last night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
