Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
