So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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