Betty ford says i'm here all night
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
