My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
