i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
